Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
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I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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