No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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