you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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