Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
