i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
