just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
love makes seman taste better
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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