Umm I'm too high to move.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
