Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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