Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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