She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
