The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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