i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
