i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
