Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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