Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've blown a few things in my day
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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