I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
