p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
