her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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