its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
