Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
