You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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