STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize