OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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