great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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