is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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