Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
