Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
