My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
