Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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