Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
