Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
