her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
