He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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