We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize