if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He felt like a one man threesome
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
