i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she woke up with a sticky ear
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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