In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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