is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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