I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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