I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
