I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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