so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
