good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
