we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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