Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
