We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
