she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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