Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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