Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
