I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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