Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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