Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
