Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
