I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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