his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
