all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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