worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
