I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
two words...techno handjob
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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