He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
