I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
