So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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